OK, so most of us are stressing about not gaining too much holiday weight this season. For women in the dating pool, weight issues can be especially discouraging as many women believe carrying a few extra pounds can make them less attractive to potential dates. Matchmaker Nekisha Michelle wants women to relax and realize that extra pounds are NEVER the reason for not attracting the love that you desire. Whew! What a relief right? So if your health is why you are turning down that piece of lemon poundcake then please refrain but if it’s because you have your eye on that fine brother at the job, by all means indulge!
Nekisha Michelle specializes in match-making plus-sized ladies and is adamant about the fact that men respond to confidence and inner beauty when it comes to selecting a wife. “Yes, men are visual but we also know that men respond to that unspoken vibe they get from women, the emotion she makes him feel, because that isn’t something they have naturally.” When a woman makes a man “feel a certain way” it’s like he is mesmerized by her and that has nothing to do with a particular dress size, “Michelle explains.
“Women are usually made to feel bad about their size or weight because they are comparing themselves to other women,” Michelle says. Instead of comparing yourself to women, Michelle suggests asking male friends or colleagues their opinion of you in relation to your good points, etc. “Men don’t see women the same way women do, so most women have no idea what men are attracted to about them. We ask our girlfriends, how we look in certain clothes or what their opinion is on our makeup etc. and that doesn’t give us a realistic understanding of how a potential date may see us.”
Michelle who qualifies herself as a plus-sized woman says her husband of five years never dated a plus-sized woman before he met her. “Most of the men I’ve been with never dated a plus-sized woman before me, but there was something about the way I presented myself that they were drawn to,” Michelle says. “It’s about what you believe about yourself,” Michelle suggests,”many times women walk around with a low sense of self and men pick up on that. People will treat you the way you expect to be treated.”
Instead of focusing on denying yourself over the holidays in order to fit into a particular dress, Michelle suggests women spend that energy working on themselves and learning to love themselves in the skin they are in. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be your best self, but everyone isn’t meant to be a size two. Learn to love yourself unapologetically at the size you are and you will see men start to respond to that internal love,” Michelle advises. Michelle wants women to realize that love doesn’t come in a certain size and has no weight limit. You are worthy of love if you believe you are worthy of love. The key remains in you sis.