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Bad Sex Isn’t Rape

January 22, 2018 Upscale
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My ears burn from all the sexual assault stories I’ve heard.

All the kids who were molested grow up into broken adults if they don’t get help along the way.

People think of rape or sexual assault as a female problem but have you ever asked a man how old he was when he lost his virginity?

I’m shocked how many prepubescent boys lost their virginities to grown women who were teachers, babysitters, or their mother’s friends.

No wonder men don’t know what consent looks like.

But all this is beside the point.

Consent between two adults is simple. Two people engaging in sexual activity should want to both be present in the moment. If one person says no, consent is voided.

Common sense right?

In the latest #MeToo hashtag, Aziz Ansari has been accused of sexually assaulting a woman he met at a 2017 Emmy’s After Party.

This woman voluntarily went to Ansari’s home after their first date and left because she was treated like a prostitute. She signed up for the girlfriend experience and got out of the situation what she put in- a lack of communication and expectations. When she withdrew her consent, he got her an Uber.

Now the anonymous woman goes to the media molding her experience to fit sexual assault language.

And that’s wrong.

Most adults have had a bad sexual encounter.

Bad sexual encounters are legal.

It’s not like Ansari pursued her. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t drawn to him on some level because of his public persona.

It’s not like she knew him otherwise.

Ansari took her out on one date and tried to have sex at the end of the night. Should Ansari have had more respect for her? That’s a moot point. She should have had more respect for herself than to go home with a stranger the same night she met him. How much romance was she expecting?

Are we at a point now where it is sexual assault if a woman doesn’t feel special after a sexual encounter?

Ansari wasn’t respectful towards her but she wasn’t respectful towards herself. There were so many points in their date where he lacked consideration for her. Did she think this was going to change before or after she took her clothes off for a man she just met that night?

Rape is a crime.

Bad sexual encounters are not.

#metooaziz ansarime tooraperape culture

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Immerse yourself in black culture: beauty, fashion, entertainment, health, fitness and travel. We are celebrating 30 years as the leading authority. upscale is more than a magazine, it's a lifestyle.

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