There’s a comprehensive vetting process for prospective couples seeking membership in their secret society. It usually begins with an email from one half of a curious couple (typically the woman), which isn’t answered for two weeks. “This is on purpose,” says Dreads. “We want to make sure that people have thoroughly thought about this. We know that they are serious if we call back a week or two later and they are still interested.”
The next step in the screening process is an in-person interview during which Dreads and Exquisite ask both partners very blunt and graphic questions about their sex life, jealousies, fantasies—and to visualize their partners being pleased by a stranger. “If I’m screening a guy,” says Dreads, “I ask him to imagine his wife performing oral sex on another man. Too many people believe the lifestyle is two girls and one guy. That is a threesome. Swinging involves swapping. We usually accept one out of every three [couples] who contact us.” Those who make the cut are sent a text message with the secret location of the party a week before the event. And what follows is a night of debauched, uninhibited fun.
What looks like any other party at first—professional, well-dressed guests talking, mingling and munching on hors d’oeuvres—takes a turn for the kinky when Dreads and Exquisite introduce what they call “voluntary, no-pressure sex games.” From shaking hands and sharing sexual secrets to rolling sex dice and performing lascivious acts on the person sitting beside them, the icebreakers are in place to help guests unwind and promote foreplay. “The energy is intense,” says Dreads. “We believe in a sexy, sensual atmosphere. We throw these parties because we want a safe, mature place where we can enjoy swinging. After midnight we stop answering the door—and we all dig into the night.”
“Too many people believe the lifestyle is two girls and one guy. That is a threesome. Swinging involves swapping.”
Tune in for more juicy insight into this seductive lifestyle. WANT MORE? Check out PART II: SECRET LOVERS! THE SUBCULTURE OF MARRIED SWINGERS
Words: Shydel James
Additional reporting by Joshua A. Washington